I am sitting at a banquet hall as we speak. My boyfriend is a bartender here, so him and his dad’s girlfriend are bartending together. It is a quinceanera. (Never seen one before…. CRAZY!)
Anyways, I am sitting here and watching everyone and everything. Listening to the sounds and the music, watching the people, getting occasional kisses from Heath (hehe, my fav), watching Heidi’s constant giddyness, and I’m just thinking about how damn blessed I am.
I am sitting here and wondering how in the hell I got where I am right now. 1 year ago, 6 months ago, or even 2 months ago, I would of never thought I would be sitting right where I am. I would of never thought I would be as happy as I am right this moment. I knew someday I would come across someone who would make me so incredibly happy, so I have been patiently waiting for it, but I didn’t even imagine it would happen all like this (keep reading… I’m getting to my life lesson/point of all this). I’ve never met anyone so in tune with life like I am. Or someone that thinks so much like me, besides my bff, Jay.
I’m getting there, keep reading please
The series of events that have happened to me in the last year I questioned and didn’t understand. I was nervous about quitting my CNA job and working at a daycare, I was scared to switch my majors from nursing to business, I was scared to get a roommate (and two different ones at that), I was scared about it all and that I was making the wrong decisions. But after it all, I continued to trust God and told myself that in time if I made the wrong decision, it would be revealed to me. I believe there is a reason that everything happens… and I mean everything. Down to the smallest details in your life. Good and bad. So, I went about each of my days continuing to believe that everything happens for a reason and I am supposed to be where I am, even if I couldn’t see it right now.
Well it is June 17th, 11:14 p.m and everything that didn’t make sense, makes sense to me now.
here comes the point of this all, and I don’t know if you’re ready for it… it’s pretty complicated.
you’re not ready lol
Now you are
I lied, it wasn’t all that complicated.
Although trusting God can be really difficult to do sometimes, especially when we go through hard times and difficult situations. We naturally respond to those situations negatively. I do sometimes still. But one of the things I’ve been trying to be better at, is being optimistic no matter what the situation is. Looking for that, what I guess you could call, “loop hole to life”. Which my definition of that is simply finding happiness (or just the good) in everything, which will overall make you a happier person. If you train yourself to find good in bad people, good in yourself and not to be so critical of yourself, and the good in bad situations, you will not only learn from life itself but you will truly begin to become a happier person. You will start to become a little more appreciative of life and all the challenges that come with it. Now, I’ve learned to not regret bad things that have happened in my life but to accept them and learn from them. To pass them onto others. One day when I have my own kids, although I don’t ever want to see them fail, I know that the best way they will learn is to do just that. That’s a scary thought. But also keep in mind, if you are going to fail… make sure you are learning from it and not shrugging it off and doing it over and over again. I’ve made the same mistake over and over again, I think we all do once and awhile, but I do eventually learn from it.
My boyfriend is currently trying to quit smoking, and he went about 3 days without smoking then he picked one up again. I saw the disappointment in himself from failing. I saw the anger he has with himself from ever starting in the first place. But how I see it is this: yes, maybe he should of never began smoking in the first place… it would of saved him a lot of hassle and money at that, but trying to quit (and I know he will eventually quit all together, I believe in him:-)) is going to create a strength inside of him that he hasn’t had yet before. Confidence will build inside of him and he will be more mentally strong (did I even word that correctly? Haha!) then he was before he smoked. It’s going to teach him self control and when he finally does quit completely, he is going to be so proud of himself… as will I.
That right there is the perfect example of seeing good in the bad. If something bad happened, it already HAPPENED. You can always try and prevent bad things from happening, but if they do anyways, let go of the disappointment you have inside yourself… let go, move on, and learn from it. better yourself.
honestly, my thoughts just ended at that.
so that’s all.
thanks for reading, I appreciate you all taking the time out of your day just to read what I have to say. You all rock.
remember, God is always good.