I have a question for you.
In your mind, what does “love until it hurts” mean to you?
Just think about it for a few seconds.
I want to tell you what it means to me.
Love until it hurts
Love is hard, those who have fallen in love or who have loved, know this. But if it doesn’t hurt, then you aren’t loving deep enough. It should hurt. It should hurt so bad. But maybe not in the ways you are thinking.
I’m not talking about a “sad hurt” or an “angry hurt” but a “happy hurt” (although sometimes it can be a sad hurt if something were to happen to that person that you love). If that’s make any sense what-so-ever. You should be so in touch with each other’s emotions. That whatever they are feeling, you are able to emphasize for them. EMPHASIZE. Not sympathize for them, but emphasize for them. If you don’t know the difference between the two I will tell you.
When you emphasize for someone, you can understand them. You can feel deep inside of you their hurt, feel their joy, their anger or whatever it may be. You are able to put yourself in their shoes. When you symphasize, you mainly just feel sorry for them, pity, compassion, or whatever they are feeling.
Now if you are loving hard enough, you will emphasize for the person you love. I can always sense the emotions of my boyfriend. I can feel it when he is tired and gets grouchy, I can feel when he is sad, and I can feel when he is angry before he even says anything. And for each situation I try to emphasize with him, and by doing that I am able (or I try to) calm him down. But this is where the “love till it hurts” part comes in.
Because I am able emphasize for him in different situations, it hurts to watch him hurt. It hurts so deeply for me. Or when he is angry, I want to be angry at whoever caused him to be angry (or maybe not angry… he doesn’t ever get angry and he doesn’t like that word… irritated or frustrated maybe. 😊) And in that sense, it deeply affects me. In ways he may or may not understand. Or we don’t even need to necessarily be talking about sadness or anger but even compassion or his ambitions. He is so compassionate and he is so ambitious. When he gets so excited about something, usually his car, it makes me happy. I can feel the joy radiating off him. I am feeling the emotions of two people basically and that is so overwhelming sometimes. Especially if he is happy and I happen to be in a bad mood, which I’m usually not, but it takes a great deal of strength to change my attitude in situations like that because I want to be happy when he is happy.
I am the kind of person that just loves hard in general. If you are a big part of my life, then I will go to the ends of the Earth and back just to see you smile. I am the kind of person that will love until it hurts.
Sometimes all it takes is for me to just look at him, and I want to cry. I have before actually. Many times. Because I am so so so lucky. This doesn’t just go for my boyfriend, but all the people in life that I love. Because I want to do anything and everything I can to make them happy. Just thinking about how blessed I am will make me cry. I am a fairly emotional person to begin with, but I believe it is because how much of myself I put into a person. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I will give them my whole heart. I want to do everything in my power to try and make them better every day, to make them smile, to heal their wounds from the past, or to help them become stronger for tomorrow. When a person puts that much into a person, not in any way is it exhausting to me but like I said, it’s overwhelming sometimes. I can just look at my boyfriend sometimes and start to cry because I’m just praying to God that I am doing good for him and that not only do I want him to be able to see that, but I want the people in his life that love him to see that as well, and if they can’t then I will feel like I am failing.
I want to influence the people I love in a positive way. To be able to teach them something they maybe didn’t know… that includes even my parents. I always talk about looking at life in different perspectives and I believe that I have been able to show my parents and especially my mom I think, a different perspective on life. My life. And by doing all of that, I am loving them till it hurts.
But you can also look at it from Mother Teresa’s point of view… “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no hurt, only more love.”
First of all, how beautifully stated.
Second, I believe in that sense she is talking about the “happy-love-till-it-hurts” because if we love, how can it hurt too? There is a sad part of it as well, such as never wanting anything bad to happen to the people you love.
Love is a complicated thing. And as humans, we tend to make it much more complicated than it needs to be. If we stop living off expectations we will become happier people in general and we can learn to love even more and with our heart and arms wide open. Some people fail to love because we know the hurt that will come with it. We can’t see into the future so we don’t know how far it will go, or if it does end, how bad it may hurt when it does… that’s when we begin to distance ourselves.
Remember, hurt is temporary and short lived.
Hurt will eventually dissipate. But learning to love people till it hurts will also create a new strength inside of you that you never knew you could have.